Yeah...more on Spain.

So I say I love Spain. And I say I love spanish. That I love spanish culture.


And I do.


And there are great things about spanish culture. Like siesta....and tapas(minus the ham legs)
...and relational living (at least a little more so than the US), and chocolate, and churros, and...well i think you get the point.

Yet I was writting today. And I starting thinking about Spain again. And my desire to go back. And I asked myself "would it be the same?"....

And the answer is no.


When I think of Sevilla I think of friends. I think of David, Dave Ligtenberg, Steve, Margi, Catita, Jip, Brit, Monica, and everyone else from the program. If I were to go back none of them would be there. And with that being true, would I really enjoy myself as much?

And when I think "Spain" I remember experiences like Morroco, El Camino de Santiago, Portugal* and just living in Sevilla.

What I dont remember, or rather, what I might down-play, where the hardships and frustrations. The inability to speak. The feeling of not having a home....but those even had their place. They also made the experience, and my life there, what it was. Without those hardships I wouldnt have had the experience which I had.

So that being said, I think I associate Spain, and therefore my love for Spain, with the people and experiences I had there. Which isnt wrong. We all do it, with nearly every period of our life.

So the next big question is whether or not my love for Spanish and Spain and anything having to do with either...my passion for this thing called "spanish culture"...is actually a way of me living in the past. Of just remembering.

This got me thinking about "living in the past", which regardless of my love for and experiences/life in Spain means, I have been doing. And its not what we were created to do. The past is beautiful, and memories are some of the most amazing and "good" things we can ever have. They give us joy, peace, happiness, understanding, and so much more. But to live in those memories, to idolize those memories, is the same as idolizing anything else.

And I guess only time will tell. I still throughly enjoy speaking spanish, even if I dont throughly enjoy my class here. And Im excited to see what will happen if I continue with Spanish on the acedemic level. And what doors it will open up. Hopefully many.

But thats enough for now. Sorry if this post is confusing.

*That picture is from a place called Sagres in Portugal. That night was one of the best I had while in Spain. Sagres is one of the places considered "the end of the world" by the ancient Europeans. And when you stand on the beach there and look out over the ocean, listening ot the waves and staring, you can tell why they felt that way. I probably did that for a goo 45 minutes. Followed by some star gazing which lasted another 30 minutes. And amazing, spiritual (cuz everythings spiritual right?) place. Anyway, for anyone going to Spain soon, I highly recommend a trip to Lagos, and then Sagres. Both places are quite amazing. And try hitting Sagres at sunset. Nothing like being at the end of the world at sunset...