Rain

Half asleep. Rain pounds the ground outside a window in front of me. The song Forever Young. Seattle. San Fransisco. Research. Life. Relationships.

Dark sky. Rain drops hitting the ground and splitting according to specific laws. Physics.

Forever Young. Endless possibilities. Unquenchable curiosity. Biology. Protein interactions in formins. Rain. Outside. Fun. Thunderstorms.

Music. Flowing. Remembering experiences. Spain. Morocco. Fez. Hotels. Friends. Tapas. Siesta. Cafe con Leche. Ronda. Grazalema. El Camino. Forever Young.

Thunderstorms on the ocean. Lightning. Bahamas. Scuba. Family. Hope Town. Scrubs :). Medicine. Marine Biology. Science. Forever Young.

The present. Friends. Playing in the rain. Young Life. God. Complexities of the world.....Forever....

Something Good

I was just at a young life leader weekend. As always we talked about community, what it means to accept others, beyond their failings, and what it means to show kids the life Jesus came to show to us. Finishing that weekend off I read something from Velvet Elvis written by Rob Bell. It begins to identify what I believe the starting points of a "Christian" community should be. So here's the quote:

"...To begin, Christians are people learning who they are in Christ. We are being taught about our new identity. Do you see how deeply this new identity affects the life of a community? I heard a teacher say that if people were taught more about who they are, they wouldn't have to be told what to do. It would come naturally. when we see religious communities spending most of their time trying to convince people not to sin, we are seeing a community that has missed the point. The point isn't sin management. The point is who we are now."

I think that's what attracted me to Young Life in the first place. The idea that we accept people for who they are when we meet them, not who we think they could become. We walk with them, and through our interactions with our community, we show others around us what it means to be a "little Christ".

Oh and another good metaphor for the distinction between trying to sell Christianity vs just showing it to people and letting what they see speak for itself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPKtBM99kAc&feature=player_embedded
vs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdsmh6gBB9Q&feature=related

which one would you rather display...or more to the point, which one would you rather others observed from you?

Commendable

The past five years have been a thunderstorm of microbiology, botany, zoology, and medicinal biology. Naturally (yes, pun intended) a constant stream through this storm has been evolution. Being taught about evolution, and how integral it is to our understanding of the natural world, has caused me to come face to face with the things I was taught at Victory Christian. Like most conservative, fundamentalist, Christian institutions the school considered evolution a doctrine brought forth from the seventh circle of hell itself...or something as equally ridiculous. Unfortunately I bought into the whole fire and Dante's inferno view of evolution, so coming to Calvin, and being taught evolution from an open minded and analytical perspective, was not only an unexpected breath of fresh air but also like meeting a brick wall while going 70 down the highway. It completely took me by surprise. (These people at Victory were antievolutionists, and anything directed against "creationism" on this blog is most likely directed against them. See Todd Woods blog for a break down of what it means to be a creationist vs an antievolutionist http://toddcwood.blogspot.com/2009/09/from-library-rastus-agustus-explains.html)

Over time the initial shock of believing I was going to go to hell because I believed in evolution wore off and I began to work on how evolution can fit into a Christian worldview. Granted this does mean a few "doctrines" must be called into question. Things such as the inerrant nature of the bible for example...although the bible itself seems to debunk that idea within the first three chapters of Genesis...but beyond that...

A few days ago I was talking with a friend. We were discussing evolution and the different viewpoints held by Christians. Everything from holding strong to what the Bible says (fundamentalist) to where we both found ourselves: taking the bible in context of the religious and cultural traditions in which it was written. As we talked my friend mentioned that he commended the people who are able to resist the influence of science, or of outside influence, and hold fast to their beliefs about the inerrant nature of the bible. He commented that to be able to do that took guts and a type of fortitude in defending your beliefs that he couldn't imagine possessing. At first I agreed with him. Yeah, these people have an incredible faith in what they believe, especially to undergo such scrutiny, and even types of persecution, for holding fast to what they believe. But on second thought, commending them for what they are doing is not where my reaction should lie. Rather, it seems, commendation should be with-held for the types of people who try and reconcile their faith with the findings of science. In fact, I think that these types of engagements with both the beliefs they hold, and the apparent contradictions which science presents to those beliefs, takes more faith than blindly ignoring certain facts and specific theories because what the represent threatens what you consider truth. As a mentor of mine states "This makes me mad. No matter what you think of the age of the earth or the need for creation miracles, you should be upset by Christians who mangle science to serve apologetic ends."-The Quintessence of Dust (www.sfmatheson.blogspot.com)

I was sitting at a Calvin vs Wheaton soccer game the other day with my buddy Derek. He and I have know each other for years, nearly since birth. It was a gorgeous day outside, barely a cloud above us and the sky that baby blue which tapers into a darker blue as you scan from the ground further into the sky. Behind us was a family. One of the kids was asking the dad about something, I'm not entirely sure what it was, and every time the dad answered the kid countered with the question "why?". I'm sure the majority of the people who will read this blog have had the same experience. Kids are endlessly curious, always wanting to know the reason behind something. I began to think of this idea a bit more in depth. In Matthew 18 it discusses how having faith like a child is essential to following Christ. It seems to me that faith like a child, as I see it, does not mean believing things just because they are told to you by someone older. It means always asking why and keeping an open mind in regards to the answers you find. That, to me, is commendable.

I Can Finally See...

On my last post I mentioned how life seems to have come full circle since starting Calvin. Actually I mentioned how it was a strange circle and ended in the same manner as it started, doing Young life, but in a completely different place. Imagine a spiral where the line drawn creates a type of circle, but never completes itself. That's a bit of what I feel in regards to life right now.

Another analogy which may work is one of a line, not straight, but heading in a distinct direction. Along the way there are loops in the line; the beginning of the loop also being the end, but the end incorporating all that the beginning was missing and moving the line ahead after the loop in a new light. Hopefully that makes some sense. A drawing would be nice, but I have no clue how to get that into one of these posts.

I'm currently listening to a song by Owl City named Meteor Shower. A real simple song, only containing four lines of lyrics, but still very well done. In one of the lines the author comes to the realization that he can finally see that God has been right beside him this whole time; as if earlier the understanding of this was lost on him. And its how I'm beginning to feel with life right now.

Starting college I had this thought, or idea, that God was guiding me, in whatever way that means. I could see how the move from California and subsequent events after wards were leading me somewhere and along the way teaching me things about who I am, while testing the beliefs I held surrounding God, morals, and the "correct" way to live.

I lost that vision after the first year of college. There were times where I could catch a glimpse of some type of path (places like Spain and Washington) that I was walking on, but I never had that feeling of forward motion; at least forward motion in the positive sense. Throughout my four years I have found that the more I learn about the world around me, about people, and about myself, the harder it is to believe in a "conventional" God (the reason for the post right below the title of this whole blog). One who conforms to the parameters of scripture. Don't misunderstand me here, I do believe that scripture describes who God is, but only in brief. It would be like seeing a puddle and holding the opinion that you now know what the ocean is like. Just not possible.

The loop, or as it seemed at the time, the divergent path, I was on was apparently leading me away from God. The things I was learning in class, the people I was hanging out with, and the things I was saying, all seemed to be counter productive in that straight path which, I had been taught, lead to God. Yet, in an ironic twist of logic, through all theses new experiences I was actually being brought away and eventually back to God, but in a form which was and is completely different from where I started. I had to learn what it meant to be a Christian in more than just what one says and knows. Not only does it take actions, but it takes actions based on commitments and, during the good times, on feelings. It takes a type of love which surpasses something you can learn through knowledge. It takes a mentorship; someone to walk you through the experience and show you the way. I'm still working on that.

So now with these evolved (not new) beliefs I find myself back at Young Life. I again see Phatty face to face and discover that I am completely different from the kid he knew four years ago. And especially different from the one he new seven years ago when he recruited me into Young Life at a bowling outing. I, of course, still have more than my share of growing and learning to do, but it feels like I may finally be ready to take that next step on that path in a forward direction, instead of a spiral like loop.


I can finally see,
That you're right there beside me,
I am my not own,
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go,
I desperately need you
~Owl City

A New Beginning

"They agreed they were in this for good, completely together in prayer..."

Tonight was the first night of Young Life for this year. About 4 years ago I quit young life because of time constraints. College was starting, I was working, and, to be completely honest, I wanted to make friends more than I wanted to lead a bunch of high schoolers. Looking back I can see that there was more at work than only my desires to move on from high school. I needed to grow, and the only way to do that was to find who I was, apart from my old life in high school.

And that is exactly what I did over the last few years. The ways in which I have changed are more numerous than I can get into on a blog; more appropriate for a cup of coffee or a beer and some quality conversation. But everything I've experienced in the previous four years has brought me back here; making a sort of odd circle back to where I started. Yet that place where I started is completely different, making it a new beginning of sorts.

Sitting in on the meeting tonight reminded me of what it was like to be part of a community of believers who are fun, honest, energetic, and completely devoted to following Jesus. People who accept their humanity as beautiful and part of a bigger picture. A story of how Dad is working to recreate and to restore a beautiful universe he created. And then reading that small section from Acts which I began this post with felt appropriate, especially after the prayer used to end the meeting.

And yet nothing this good comes easily. Two days ago I received new hours from the hospital which directly conflict with my ability to attend club. There is no possible way I can be a leader with out attending club, but the management at spectrum are not the easiest people to work with. That being said there is a small chance I can return to my every weekend post, and if young life is meant to work out I don't think switching back should be a problem. We'll see though, as I said negotiating with the managers over hours is never something which works out well in the end. Here's to hoping and praying that this is the exception. :-P