A few Interesting Things

Just as a reference, everything I am about to talk about and consider came from the book "Phantoms in the Brain" by VS Ramachandran a MD and PhD in neuroscience out of UCSD.

I could make you think that the table in front of you (or chair or couch or lamp or...well you get the idea) is an actual part of your body. In fact, this isn't some sort of innate ability I only possess but something anyone can do. The experiment needs two people, some type of object to which you are going to project a persons body image (the table, chair, another persons arm, etc), some type of divider to prevent the two people from seeing each other, and at least one of the two has to have a good sense of rhythm. For ease of writing I'm going to assume that what you use is a table. Place the divider in the center of the table (it can be as easy a blanket between the two people). Have the person who is going to experience the table become like a part of their body place a hand below the table. The second person will then push one hand through the divider and the other below the table. That second person then begins to tap or brush the first's hand and thetable in synchrony. Now the synchronous part of this experiment is key, if the taps and brushes are not in synchrony against the table and the hand the experiment wont work. If you both are lucky (this only works with maybe 50% of the people its done on) after about a minute the first person will begin to feel as if the tabs and brushes are arising from their own body, even through their logical mind knows this is completely bogus.

This same idea was experimentally used to project a person's consciousness outside of their body, essentially to give them an experimentally induced out of body experience. http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/317/5841/1048 (specifically the paragraph after the image)

It can also be done to completely place one persons sense of being into another person's body, all through visual stimulus.

This has some interesting implications, but before we get to that there's another extension off of this idea which will allow us to better engage the implications I will bring up later. This idea of being able to project ones body image onto inanimate objects (or even objects outside of your own body) is pretty radical. But when you think about it a bit more, its not all that crazy. Everyone has something which they incorporate into their extended body image. Whatever that object is, its something which they become infuriated about if it is hurt, dented, or otherwise damaged. Yet to say that the object is part of their actual body might be a stretch for lots of people. So Ramachandran set out to experimentally test this "extended body image as part of your own body image" idea. In order to do that he hooked up patients to a machine called a GSR (galvanic skin response) which measures skin resistance; just a fancy way of saying it measures your response to a visual stimulus which threatens your body, such as a heavy rock being held above your foot. The GSR is tied with your body's sympathetic reaction to dangerous or threatening situations. So, theoretically, if someone were to threaten an object which you consider to be part of your body image, say your car, then there should be a readable GSR to that threat.

Ok, so the experiment. Ramachandra took a few patients, and in a somewhat unethical manner, preformed the table experiment on them. When they had begun to feel the table as part of their body he took his fist and slammed it against the table. Every patient experienced a significant GSR.

So now onto the implications. And all I want are responses to this quote I write out because this post is long enough already. Here's what Ramachandran speculates about the meaning behind these phenomena:

"...If this argument is correct, then perhaps it's not all that silly to ask whether you identify with your car. Just punch it to see whether your GSR changes. Indeed the technique may give us a handle on elusive psychological phenomena such as the empathy and love that you feel for a child or spouse. If you are deeply in love with someone, is it possible tot you have actually become part of that person? Perhaps your souls--and not merely your bodies--have become intertwined" (Phantoms in the Brain pg 61 bolding added)

Interesting idea...

Clear and Hazy

I was at the Grand Canyon about seven years ago. It was my first time there, with my family, and it was in the middle of December. We were on our way to Michigan from California, moving back from our 4 year hiatus over in Sacramento. My parents thought it would be a good idea to take a couple weeks to travel through the national parks between MI and CA; mainly those surrounding the four corners of Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah.
So we found ourselves, on a cold, crisp December morning, with snow falling all around us, standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon. We were surrounded by clouds and trying to figure out what the big deal was with this national monument. We were attempting to understand this because the clouds had filled in the canyon, along with the entire area around us, and reduced the magnificence of the monument to white, puffy, nothingness. But this white nothingness was, in the end, what made this specific trip unique.
As we walked along the edge of the canyon we began talking, not about anything specific but just small family talk. As we were doing this I was looking over the edge, trying to see this "canyon" which was apparently right next to me. And then the clouds opened up. Just a small opening, but enough for me to catch a glimpse of the vastness of the canyon. It was incredible.

Four years later I found myself back at the Grand Canyon. This time I was there with friends during the summer. It was a hot and clear day; polar opposite from my previous visit. It was also the first time I saw the Grand Canyon in all its glory...and it looked like a postcard. It was like my mind couldn't wrap itself around how large the canyon was, so it just fell back on an understandable object: a postcard. The canyon looked 2-D. It was weird.

I think sometimes this is why God only gives us glimpses of where we're going in life. Like he did for me a few weeks ago. Once we get that glimpse, that view of how epic things could be, he takes it away.

Because we won't understand the full picture.

And only a view gives us a hope of what could be; it spurs us on to take risks we may have not taken otherwise.

I think that's what has happened in my life. A glimpse followed by a hazing over of the path that could be mine. What's frustrating me now is the roadblock I'm coming across in getting to that place I glimpsed.

We'll see what happens.

Rain

Half asleep. Rain pounds the ground outside a window in front of me. The song Forever Young. Seattle. San Fransisco. Research. Life. Relationships.

Dark sky. Rain drops hitting the ground and splitting according to specific laws. Physics.

Forever Young. Endless possibilities. Unquenchable curiosity. Biology. Protein interactions in formins. Rain. Outside. Fun. Thunderstorms.

Music. Flowing. Remembering experiences. Spain. Morocco. Fez. Hotels. Friends. Tapas. Siesta. Cafe con Leche. Ronda. Grazalema. El Camino. Forever Young.

Thunderstorms on the ocean. Lightning. Bahamas. Scuba. Family. Hope Town. Scrubs :). Medicine. Marine Biology. Science. Forever Young.

The present. Friends. Playing in the rain. Young Life. God. Complexities of the world.....Forever....

Something Good

I was just at a young life leader weekend. As always we talked about community, what it means to accept others, beyond their failings, and what it means to show kids the life Jesus came to show to us. Finishing that weekend off I read something from Velvet Elvis written by Rob Bell. It begins to identify what I believe the starting points of a "Christian" community should be. So here's the quote:

"...To begin, Christians are people learning who they are in Christ. We are being taught about our new identity. Do you see how deeply this new identity affects the life of a community? I heard a teacher say that if people were taught more about who they are, they wouldn't have to be told what to do. It would come naturally. when we see religious communities spending most of their time trying to convince people not to sin, we are seeing a community that has missed the point. The point isn't sin management. The point is who we are now."

I think that's what attracted me to Young Life in the first place. The idea that we accept people for who they are when we meet them, not who we think they could become. We walk with them, and through our interactions with our community, we show others around us what it means to be a "little Christ".

Oh and another good metaphor for the distinction between trying to sell Christianity vs just showing it to people and letting what they see speak for itself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPKtBM99kAc&feature=player_embedded
vs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdsmh6gBB9Q&feature=related

which one would you rather display...or more to the point, which one would you rather others observed from you?

Commendable

The past five years have been a thunderstorm of microbiology, botany, zoology, and medicinal biology. Naturally (yes, pun intended) a constant stream through this storm has been evolution. Being taught about evolution, and how integral it is to our understanding of the natural world, has caused me to come face to face with the things I was taught at Victory Christian. Like most conservative, fundamentalist, Christian institutions the school considered evolution a doctrine brought forth from the seventh circle of hell itself...or something as equally ridiculous. Unfortunately I bought into the whole fire and Dante's inferno view of evolution, so coming to Calvin, and being taught evolution from an open minded and analytical perspective, was not only an unexpected breath of fresh air but also like meeting a brick wall while going 70 down the highway. It completely took me by surprise. (These people at Victory were antievolutionists, and anything directed against "creationism" on this blog is most likely directed against them. See Todd Woods blog for a break down of what it means to be a creationist vs an antievolutionist http://toddcwood.blogspot.com/2009/09/from-library-rastus-agustus-explains.html)

Over time the initial shock of believing I was going to go to hell because I believed in evolution wore off and I began to work on how evolution can fit into a Christian worldview. Granted this does mean a few "doctrines" must be called into question. Things such as the inerrant nature of the bible for example...although the bible itself seems to debunk that idea within the first three chapters of Genesis...but beyond that...

A few days ago I was talking with a friend. We were discussing evolution and the different viewpoints held by Christians. Everything from holding strong to what the Bible says (fundamentalist) to where we both found ourselves: taking the bible in context of the religious and cultural traditions in which it was written. As we talked my friend mentioned that he commended the people who are able to resist the influence of science, or of outside influence, and hold fast to their beliefs about the inerrant nature of the bible. He commented that to be able to do that took guts and a type of fortitude in defending your beliefs that he couldn't imagine possessing. At first I agreed with him. Yeah, these people have an incredible faith in what they believe, especially to undergo such scrutiny, and even types of persecution, for holding fast to what they believe. But on second thought, commending them for what they are doing is not where my reaction should lie. Rather, it seems, commendation should be with-held for the types of people who try and reconcile their faith with the findings of science. In fact, I think that these types of engagements with both the beliefs they hold, and the apparent contradictions which science presents to those beliefs, takes more faith than blindly ignoring certain facts and specific theories because what the represent threatens what you consider truth. As a mentor of mine states "This makes me mad. No matter what you think of the age of the earth or the need for creation miracles, you should be upset by Christians who mangle science to serve apologetic ends."-The Quintessence of Dust (www.sfmatheson.blogspot.com)

I was sitting at a Calvin vs Wheaton soccer game the other day with my buddy Derek. He and I have know each other for years, nearly since birth. It was a gorgeous day outside, barely a cloud above us and the sky that baby blue which tapers into a darker blue as you scan from the ground further into the sky. Behind us was a family. One of the kids was asking the dad about something, I'm not entirely sure what it was, and every time the dad answered the kid countered with the question "why?". I'm sure the majority of the people who will read this blog have had the same experience. Kids are endlessly curious, always wanting to know the reason behind something. I began to think of this idea a bit more in depth. In Matthew 18 it discusses how having faith like a child is essential to following Christ. It seems to me that faith like a child, as I see it, does not mean believing things just because they are told to you by someone older. It means always asking why and keeping an open mind in regards to the answers you find. That, to me, is commendable.

I Can Finally See...

On my last post I mentioned how life seems to have come full circle since starting Calvin. Actually I mentioned how it was a strange circle and ended in the same manner as it started, doing Young life, but in a completely different place. Imagine a spiral where the line drawn creates a type of circle, but never completes itself. That's a bit of what I feel in regards to life right now.

Another analogy which may work is one of a line, not straight, but heading in a distinct direction. Along the way there are loops in the line; the beginning of the loop also being the end, but the end incorporating all that the beginning was missing and moving the line ahead after the loop in a new light. Hopefully that makes some sense. A drawing would be nice, but I have no clue how to get that into one of these posts.

I'm currently listening to a song by Owl City named Meteor Shower. A real simple song, only containing four lines of lyrics, but still very well done. In one of the lines the author comes to the realization that he can finally see that God has been right beside him this whole time; as if earlier the understanding of this was lost on him. And its how I'm beginning to feel with life right now.

Starting college I had this thought, or idea, that God was guiding me, in whatever way that means. I could see how the move from California and subsequent events after wards were leading me somewhere and along the way teaching me things about who I am, while testing the beliefs I held surrounding God, morals, and the "correct" way to live.

I lost that vision after the first year of college. There were times where I could catch a glimpse of some type of path (places like Spain and Washington) that I was walking on, but I never had that feeling of forward motion; at least forward motion in the positive sense. Throughout my four years I have found that the more I learn about the world around me, about people, and about myself, the harder it is to believe in a "conventional" God (the reason for the post right below the title of this whole blog). One who conforms to the parameters of scripture. Don't misunderstand me here, I do believe that scripture describes who God is, but only in brief. It would be like seeing a puddle and holding the opinion that you now know what the ocean is like. Just not possible.

The loop, or as it seemed at the time, the divergent path, I was on was apparently leading me away from God. The things I was learning in class, the people I was hanging out with, and the things I was saying, all seemed to be counter productive in that straight path which, I had been taught, lead to God. Yet, in an ironic twist of logic, through all theses new experiences I was actually being brought away and eventually back to God, but in a form which was and is completely different from where I started. I had to learn what it meant to be a Christian in more than just what one says and knows. Not only does it take actions, but it takes actions based on commitments and, during the good times, on feelings. It takes a type of love which surpasses something you can learn through knowledge. It takes a mentorship; someone to walk you through the experience and show you the way. I'm still working on that.

So now with these evolved (not new) beliefs I find myself back at Young Life. I again see Phatty face to face and discover that I am completely different from the kid he knew four years ago. And especially different from the one he new seven years ago when he recruited me into Young Life at a bowling outing. I, of course, still have more than my share of growing and learning to do, but it feels like I may finally be ready to take that next step on that path in a forward direction, instead of a spiral like loop.


I can finally see,
That you're right there beside me,
I am my not own,
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go,
I desperately need you
~Owl City

A New Beginning

"They agreed they were in this for good, completely together in prayer..."

Tonight was the first night of Young Life for this year. About 4 years ago I quit young life because of time constraints. College was starting, I was working, and, to be completely honest, I wanted to make friends more than I wanted to lead a bunch of high schoolers. Looking back I can see that there was more at work than only my desires to move on from high school. I needed to grow, and the only way to do that was to find who I was, apart from my old life in high school.

And that is exactly what I did over the last few years. The ways in which I have changed are more numerous than I can get into on a blog; more appropriate for a cup of coffee or a beer and some quality conversation. But everything I've experienced in the previous four years has brought me back here; making a sort of odd circle back to where I started. Yet that place where I started is completely different, making it a new beginning of sorts.

Sitting in on the meeting tonight reminded me of what it was like to be part of a community of believers who are fun, honest, energetic, and completely devoted to following Jesus. People who accept their humanity as beautiful and part of a bigger picture. A story of how Dad is working to recreate and to restore a beautiful universe he created. And then reading that small section from Acts which I began this post with felt appropriate, especially after the prayer used to end the meeting.

And yet nothing this good comes easily. Two days ago I received new hours from the hospital which directly conflict with my ability to attend club. There is no possible way I can be a leader with out attending club, but the management at spectrum are not the easiest people to work with. That being said there is a small chance I can return to my every weekend post, and if young life is meant to work out I don't think switching back should be a problem. We'll see though, as I said negotiating with the managers over hours is never something which works out well in the end. Here's to hoping and praying that this is the exception. :-P

My Finale

Stories have an incredible power to display aspects of life which can not be shown any other way. They uniquely describe the ideas they are built on by pulling at emotions and “shared” past experiences between characters and audience. Their ability to work multiple themes into one overall motif allows for multiple interpretations which give so many different faces to one specific story. And a story is the reason for this post.

        Scrubs was on tonight. And for those of you who do not know what Scrubs is my best advice is…well…go watch it. But in case you don’t want to do that here’s a quick synopsis. Scrubs is a TV show which deals with the lives of four doctors, their families, and their lives in the hospital Sacred Heart. It’s a sitcom but unlike most the writers blend both comedy and drama nearly seamlessly. That blending is the aspect which caused me to fall in love with the show. Anything that can make me both laugh hysterically and sit contemplating life situations all within a half hour is worth watching; at least in my opinion.

        So tonight was the last episode of this show. Watching it, and hearing what J.D. had to say about the future, about how it is still his to mold and how the past will always influence what he wants the future to look like, began me considering what I want to see in my future. But that only happened after I thought back on the year and a half that I have been watching Scrubs. Weirdly enough it has been a huge “staple” during that time. The show has been a way for me to wind down after a long day, something to have on when its raining outside, or a trigger for certain memories over the last year. So the last episode sparked something in me; a type of nostalgia.

       Much of what was said tonight on the show resonated with my experiences of change. I specifically remember leaving California and how it was the most significant thing which was happening in my life at that time. Yet for the lives of everyone around me it was just another day. Sure I got cards and good-byes but for them it was a small change in the over all aspect of their lives. For me it was a complete life change. And Dr. Cox sums that feeling up perfectly when he states “"I'm real sorry there, newbie. But this is not a special day for me. It's just a day." 

      But more than that, when I first saw Scrubs it reignited a flame which I had long thought had been put out. It reawakened my interest in medicine, in wanting to be a doctor. The show acted as a catalyst which pushed me to where I am now. It pushed me to realize that my true interest does not actually lie in sustainable energy, in ecosystems, or even in environmental medicine/public health. It lies in medicine and the practice thereof. But to admit that also ties me down to one specific path which opens up the possibility of failure, something that I am not good at accepting or dealing with. So in a way Scrubs both acted as a catalyst for me rediscovering a dream of mine, as well as a catalyst for me actually admitting that dream and committing to a course which, hopefully, will bring me there.

      So much more could be said about the things Scrubs brings to mind when I watch. And those things hopefully will be said at some point in my life, either here or in a journal. But I wanted to jot a few things down here, real quick, just as a ode to a show which has, strangely enough, meant quite a bit in my life. So thanks Scrubs and everyone involved for an amazing show (word keeps telling me that this sentence is a fragment and just to spite it I’m gonna keep it that way…also with all this on the end it no longer classifies as a fragment). Keep up the good work.