My Meaningless Meandering

Thoughts. I nearly always have something to write about. The thing is, I don't always want the entire world to know what I'm thinking.

I've been watching this show. It's about faces; about how the entire world is working to put on a face so we can "fit in".

And that universal quality of "fitting in" has elicited certain questions from me. One being why I feel so completely different while I'm around other people. I feel outside the majority of the time. And, yeah, this sounds like a pity plea, but its not. The last thing I want is pity. Nor do I want to sound above others at any point, that is never my purpose. I really just want to understand why people do the things they do. And maybe that is why I feel so distant.

I can never allow myself to just do something. I over analyze maybe, or it could be that I just think to much in general. But I always want to know motive.

Another such question is why do people drink as much as they do? Sure its fun...to a point. But even then, if it is so fun, why feel the need to defend yourself about it? I have come across people, that when I say I don't drink much, they feel the need to explain themselves and their drinking habits.
Like I am judging them.
But I'm not.
In fact the majority of the time I feel as if I have to explain myself; giving reasons why I don't drink heavily. I mean, lets face it, I'm in the minority.
And then when I say I don't drink a lot I'm left with people looking at me like I'm stupid. Like I don't know what I'm doing. Like I'm a child who needs to wake up.
But I am awake, and to be honest I think I might be a little more awake than others in this area. But thats not for me to decide.
And none of this is to say I'm against drinking. Just the opposite, I think a few beers, a glass of wine, or some liquor can help facilitate a good conversation or a legit chill time with some friends. But overdoing it is what I don't get. Why does it have to be the thing that people look forward to?

And this is just scratching the surface of questions I have....